Death Wish
by LMB
Summary: What if Anya didn't turn up in Sunnydale but in LA 12 months later?
1. Chapter 1

This is set during the second half of season 1 of Angel/season 4 of Buffy. Cordelia never met Anya during season 3 of Buffy and 'The Wish', 'Doppelgangland' etc. never happened as she never saw Xander kiss Willow and dated him happily until she left Sunnydale and they were forced to break up.  
  
DEATH WISH  
  
Cordelia sat in Angel Investigations, feet up on the desk, yawning. She glanced around the room. Everything was exactly the same as it always was - coffee machine, desk, a few files. And no cases. That was one thing she wished would change. Angel paid her a percentage of the profits the company made and unless there actually were any profits, her bank balance stayed low. Too low. She'd seen this divine red dress in the window of her favourite shop yesterday. It had this gorgeous beading on the bottom, which was sooo in this season, it was just to die for. Cordelia smiled, twirling pencil between her fingers as she thought how wonderful she would make it look. But, it was too expensive, even Wal-Mart was too expensive since her move to LA. She frowned and flicked the pencil over the other side of the room. She watched with uninterest as it hit the wall and landed on the floor by the bookcase, bouncing along the carpet. It wasn't as if she hadn't been trying to increase her income. Dating as many young, rich and successful LA men as she could had been a start, but none of them had worked. They'd either been too boring, too busy or so unbelievably full of themselves, she'd wanted to be sick. The last one, Tom, had been different though. Or at least she'd thought he had. They'd been going out for 3 months and everything had been going great. They weren't about to get engaged or anything but Cordy had been sure that they'd be a long-term couple and things were getting quite serious. Not only was Tom rich but he was also handsome and had a great sense of humour. Cordelia smiled just at the thought of the time she'd spent with him, the places they'd been. But, one evening about two weeks ago, when she'd been out late-night shopping, she'd seen him in a restaurant with a curvaceous blonde (although Cordelia was sure that neither her hair colour nor her bra size were what nature had given her.) She'd been devastated, even though they hadn't been going out that long - just that everything about him fitted her idea of 'the perfect man'. Leaning back on her chair, Cordelia stared at the ceiling, suddenly finding the stains extremely interesting. The doors of the elevator opened and Angel walked into the room. Cordy immediately snapped her feet away from the desk and gave a half smile in Angel's direction.  
  
"Good morning Angel.I was just.um.checking if the new desks were.um.durable?"  
  
Angel just looked at her, silently.  
  
"You know, If you had some foot rests in here, life would be far more comfortable." Still aware of Angel's stare she resigned, defeated. "Okay, okay, I know they're new. Posts over there." She said, nodding towards the table by the door.  
  
Angel walked towards the door and picked up the letters flicking through them.  
  
"Cordelia, I need you to look up some specifics on this Bharra demon I killed in the sewers last week." Angel said, sitting down on a chair in the corner.  
  
"Sure. What do you know already?" Cordy asked.  
  
"It's tall. About 7 foot tall. Green skin, scaly. Eyes are red, 2 pairs of horns. Seems to have made its home underground so probably feeds on either waste or rats."  
  
"That's all, in fact more than, I need to know" Cordelia said, shuddering at the thought of anything, demon or not, feeding on rats or, even worse, sewage. "I'm on it."  
  
She logged onto the net and looked at the sites she always used for Demon research. None of them seemed to have any information on a 'Bharra Demon' or any demon that matched Angel's description. After flicking through some of Angel's reference books, she decided that researching this demon might (unfortunately) take more effort.  
  
"Great. More time looking for excrement eating evil." She thought to herself. "Sometimes I forget why I do this."  
  
Cordelia picked up her keys from the peg near the door and grabbed her coat.  
  
"I'm going to the library on Galton and West. I'll be back for lunch." She yelled to Angel who was now in his office. With that, she left.  
  
Whenever they had a tricky demon to research, they went to the Galton and West library. It had a huge archive of virtually every book on demonology of note that had been written since the 13th century. It often took hours just to locate a specific book but the results always brought up what was required. Cordelia arrive and immediately walked over to the computer index in the corner. She always used the computer, it was far faster, but Angel always used the card index. Once she'd suggested that it might save time to use the computer to Angel, but, despite the fact that that specific research trip had taken six hours solely to find one book, he still had to do things the way they did it in the dark ages. After half an hour or so of browsing through the list of books the computer had brought up using the keywords of 'green scales' and 'sewer habitat' Cordelia left the book she was reading for a moment to give her eyes a rest. She massaged her lids and then pulled the hair back from her face. Glancing at the door for a second she noticed a man walk in. She studied his profile for a second and gave an approving look up and down.  
  
"Maybe this trip wasn't such a bad idea" Cordy thought as the man swiveled round to face her. "he looks kind of familiar..Tom!"  
  
Instinctively, she ducked under the table she was at and observed Tom in the fiction section browsing through the crime novels. She looked back at the door and in came the blonde that Tom had been with in the restaurant. She walked up behind him and slipped her arms around his waist. Tom turned round and lifted her head, kissing her lightly on the lips. Cordelia struggled to hold back tears. It had only been two weeks and she was still very fragile. She was leaning against the leg of the table as she hid and suddenly, it gave way, sending Cordelia sprawling flat on the floor as the table collapsed.  
  
"Please don't let him see me, please don't let him see me." She repeated to herself. She brought up the courage to lift her head but, to her horror, the noise had attracted the attention of all the people in the library who were all staring at her, including tom and his girlfriend.  
  
"Tom...um, hi." Cordelia said, still on the floor, limbs spread out. She tried to feign a smile.  
  
Tom just started at her, wide eyed.  
  
"Cordelia." he said feebly. It was barely audible.  
  
The blonde was less shocked and just stared at her, giggling. Cordelia picked herself up and stood by the broken table without the slightest idea of what to do.  
  
"I think we ought to go." Tom said, grabbing the wrist of the girl. Hurriedly, he turned and fled, picking up the pace once he got through the exit doors. Trying to muster up as much dignity as she could muster, Cordy brushed herself off and, picking up her bag, left the building.  
  
Halfway along the walk back to Angel Investigations, Cordelia's resolve finally faded and she burst into tears. Walking along a small backstreet sobs escaped as she stopped and leant against the wall of a building. She brought her hands to he face, covering her eyes and shook with her sobbing. Sinking to the ground with her back against the walls, her tears raged.  
  
"Why do these things have to happen to me?" Cordelia thought. "My life's such a mess since I moved to LA. I haven't got any money, I haven't got any friends and the guy I really thought was for the long run prefers a blow up Barbie to me."  
  
"Are you okay?" a voice asked.  
  
Cordelia snapped up to look at the stranger standing beside her. She was a girl, looked about 20, slim, and had shoulder length brown hair. Her dress appeared to be a little old fashioned and she wore a rather large pendant around her neck that was very '98, but she had a friendly face.  
  
"ur.yeah, I'm okay," Cordelia said, wiping her tears away with her sleeve, feeling embarrassed at being seen in such a state.  
  
The girl offered Cordelia her hand to help her off the pavement and she took it, pulling herself onto her feet.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?" The girl asked. She had a look on her face that showed genuine concern.  
  
Even though she didn't know the girl, Cordelia felt a strong feeling of trust for her and, contrary to her instincts, she accepted.  
  
"There's a coffee house just around the corner that does an amazing frappe, we can go there if you like."  
  
"Yeah.that'd be nice..I'm Cordelia by the way" Cordy said.  
  
The girl extended her hand.  
  
"Anya."  
  
TO BE CONTINUED. 


	2. Chapter 2

PART 2  
  
".And she just stood there and laughed. It was mortifying. I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed in my life. I can't believe he left me for that.that.tramp." Cordelia said, slowly stirring her drink, her eyebrows knitted.  
  
"Men can be pigs." Anya said. "Best thing to do is to live life without them"  
  
Cordelia's eyes widened and she stared at Anya.  
  
"Uh you're really nice and all, but I don't.um.go that way." Cordelia started, finally realising why Anya was so keen to go for coffee.  
  
"Oh! Neither do I!" Anya said, laughing. "I just don't think you need men in your life" Anya started to finger an amulet around her neck. It sparkled as it caught the sunlight.  
  
"If I had a life, I could decide whether or not I wanted men in it" Cordy said, wistfully. "But, since I moved here everything's gone wrong. I used to popular, have friends.I used to be happy." She trailed off as she stared at Anya's pendant as it shimmered. "That's a really unusual necklace."  
  
"You like it? It's supposed to bring good luck. You know, I think you need it more then me. Here." Anya said, as she unclasped the jewellery from around her neck and handed it to Cordelia.  
  
"You're sure?" Anya nodded. "well.thanks..." Cordy replied as the silver chain glided in between her fingers as she slipped it into her purse.  
  
"So you regret moving here?" Anya probed.  
  
"God yes. I wish so badly that my parents hadn't done all the.tax evasion stuff and, I can't believe I'm saying this, had never come to LA and was back in Sunnydale."  
  
Cordy looked at Anya. Suddenly her face had gone all wrinkly and pale, red veins protruding from her skin and her eyes were red - they glowed, like liquid magma flowing in rivers from her face, as suddenly, a white light enveloped her.  
  
"Done."  
  
Cordelia felt like she had just woken up from a long sleep when her vision became clear. She looked around her, the effects of the white light wearing off and immediately recognised where she was - the campus of UC Sunnydale. She looked down and realised she was carrying a bag of books. What was happening? She'd just been saying and.and now this..she realised she was holding a bag - she sat down and opened it up. Tipping its contents onto the grass, she spread them out to view her possessions. Fluttering out on top of it was a timetable of lectures for the next week. Scanning it, she gathered that she was majoring in English Literature and also taking courses in drama and 20th century history. Books on the Treaty of Versailles and method acting were among the collection along with 'Hamlet' and 'To Kill a Mockingbird'. Studying her timetable further, she realised that she had a class in 20 minutes and, as she didn't know the campus yet she thought she probably ought to start off towards the building her class was taking place in. The class was on the Romantic Poets and, although poetry was not her favourite part of English, she didn't think it was a good idea to miss what was, to her, her first college class. For a second she felt worried - this wasn't right, it wasn't how it was supposed to be. But she pushed the thought to the back of her mind as she started to walk towards her first college experience.  
  
When she arrived at the lecture room, she slipped into a seat at the front of the class. As she got out her notepad, she heard someone call from behind.  
  
"Hey, Cordy, why aren't you sitting with us?"  
  
Cordelia turned round to look at the speaker; It was Mandy, one of the 'Cordettes' she'd hung around with at high school.  
  
"Hey, Mand, how've you been?" Cordelia asked, as she walked up the steps to the seats next to Mandy. Mandy laughed.  
  
"Been? Since when! I saw you about an hour ago - when we came to college together, remember?"  
  
"Oh yeah," Cordy said, weakly. She'd completely forgotten that everyone thought she'd always been here. "I've got a mind like a sieve."  
  
"Yeah.oh, you will never guess what josh said to me. Who does he think he is.."  
  
Mandy proceeded to tell her about the latest trials and tribulations with her boyfriend, who she'd been dating since junior year. Cordelia always thought he was arrogant and self involved but she smiled and nodded as the details of their latest argument were explained to her. But, her mind drifted and she ended up watching all the students coming into the class. Suddenly, she saw Willow enter. Having not seen her for almost a year now, or at least as far as Cordy was concerned she hadn't, Cordy smiled at her, and even gave a bit of a wave. To her surprise Willow hardly even noted her and Cordelia even noticed a faint frown on the redhead's face. Confused by this reaction, she excused herself from Mandy and crossed the room to where Willow was sitting with a girl with shoulder length straight, greyish hair who was wearing a slightly frumpy cardigan and long skirt. She was slumped into her chair as if she was trying not to be noticed but Willow was obviously paying her a lot of attention.  
  
"Willow, hey." Cordy said, smiling as hard as she could.  
  
"Cordelia, what do you want?" Willow said, coolly.  
  
"I just came over to say hey.are you alright?" replied Cordelia, taken aback by Willows tone of voice.  
  
"I don't know what your game is, but I know you don't give a damn about how I am so go back to Mandy and just leave us alone." Willow retorted,  
  
looking straight at Cordelia with a look that could kill.  
  
"wha.I.umn." Shocked as to why she was being treated in such a hostile way by Willow, Cordelia walked away from willow, confused by their encounter. Willow had never been her best friend but she'd never been this cold to her before. Here eyes had been like steel when she'd waved at her when she came in. It unsettled her.  
  
After the class, Cordelia and Mandy went to sit in the College cafeteria for their lunch. Having decided between mouldy and inedible food, they sat down to talk.  
  
"Um, so Willow's acting a bit strange."Cordelia ventured.  
  
Mandy shrugged.  
  
"I guess. Although, after what you did, I'm not surprised!" She said, an evil glint in her eyes.  
  
"Oh, yeah that.what was it again?" Cordy asked, hoping Mandy wouldn't find her temporary amnesia a cause for concern. Evidently it didn't.  
  
"C'mon Cordy, after you slept with her boyfriend, can you expect her to be your best buddy?" Mandy said with a giggle.  
  
Cordy reeled in shock - she slept with Oz? The thought of doing that made her shiver, she couldn't imagine why she would've ever have...She liked Oz, but not that way.and she was sure that she hadn't been romantically interested in him.  
  
"Hey, I heard that he's in Tibet now, of all places.Tibet!" Mandy said, rolling her eyes in wonderment.  
  
"He left?" Cordelia asked. Mandy looked at her strangely.  
  
"Yeah - you know that. He left because he couldn't face being around you and Willow. Are you okay? You didn't, like, hit your head or anything did you, cos I've heard that can cause memory loss and stuff."  
  
"No, I'm fine, really I am." Cordelia said, quietly.  
  
"Man am I a complete bitch in this reality" she thought to herself as she breathed in sharply. The professor entered and she concentrated on the lecture, attempting to stop thinking about what her alter-ago had done.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	3. Chapter 3

PART 3  
  
After class, Cordelia consulted her timetable and realised that she hadn't anymore lectures for the rest of the day.  
  
"Mandy, you coming back to our dorm?" she asked.  
  
"Dorm? You're priceless, Cordelia!" Mandy giggled. "As if I would ever live in a dorm! You either - nothing but the best for daddy's little girl." She winked.  
  
Intrigued, Cordelia followed Mandy towards the parking lot, where Mandy's car (a black Mercedes) was waiting. She hopped into the passenger seat and Mandy raced out of the campus and headed onto the main road.  
  
Ten minutes later, they arrived at Cordelia and Mandy's 'dorm'. The building they came to stop in front of was only four stories high, but it was extremely wide. It was white and there were numerous balconies on each floor. A large lawn with a pale stone patio and a large pool stretched out behind it. The sun glistened on the water as the girls walked towards the lobby of the building. Inside the air conditioning cooled the modern and simplistic room from the heat wave that was currently enveloping Sunnydale. Cordelia marvelled at her surroundings as she followed Mandy to the elevator and up to their apartment. Entering the flat, she looked around her 'new' home and gasped - it was beautiful. The furniture was top range and looked fantastic, perfectly co-ordinated. The blues and purples contrasted against the white walls. Cordelia approved. The far wall was all glass and led out onto a private balcony overlooking the pool and garden. Opening the French doors, she stepped out and surveyed the view - it was breathtaking, the sunlight landing on her tan skin giving her a comfortable warm feeling. Walking back inside she peered into a room off to the right and immediately knew form the subtle décor that it was hers, perfectly toned colours creating a calm serene space that was immediately inviting. She did a running jump onto the bed, grinning from ear to ear. As she bounced onto the mattress she let out a laugh of happiness as she rolled over and stopped to catch her breath for a moment. She felt her eyelids droop.  
  
"Reality jumping is tiring" She thought as she stretched out on the king- size and yawned. Curling up she let her eyes close feeling the days tension wash out of her aching muscles as she relaxed and began to fall asleep. How different this was from her life in LA.  
  
Cordelia opened her eyelids, now refreshed. Periodically she wondered where she was, but she quickly remembered and slid into a sitting position on the pure cotton sheets. Out of the corner of her eye she saw that in was now 9pm.  
  
"I really must've been tired, six hours asleep." She thought.  
  
Wiping her eyes as she got up, Cordelia wandered into the kitchen and saw a note from Mandy on the fridge; "Didn't want to wake you - have gone to the Bronze. Join me when you get up!"  
  
She sat up and walked over to her cupboard. Opening it up she cast an eye over her wardrobe. Glad that her fashion sense didn't vary from one world to another, she selected a shoestring-strap black dress (flatteringly short she thought) and high heeled shoes to go with it she got change ready to go to The Bronze for what at least felt like ages. After carefully putting on her make up, she took the lift down and, knowing that it was only a few blocks from here to the club, started to walk towards The Bronze. Walking along the pavement happily thought about how different things were here than from LA. For one, she had money and a kick ass apartment. And she was free to go out and find herself some tall athletic type. She grinned at the thought. After a couple of minute she was sure that someone was walking behind her. Turning round, there didn't seem to be anyone so she carried on walking. But, the feeling didn't leave her and this time she didn't stop before turning but spun on her heels, only to be confronted with the frame of a tall and quite broad man standing not 20 feet away from her. She jumped. Frozen to the spot she stood completely still, staring at the figure. After a few seconds however the man moved forward into the street light and Cordelia could immediately recognise him.  
  
"Angel? Thank God it's only you.I thought you were some big old demon or something" She laughed. But Angel didn't reply or even move.  
  
"Angel?" Cordelia asked.  
  
"You know, I'm getting really bored of people calling me that. My names isn't 'Angel'" He spat, a look of total disgust on his face. "It's Angelus"  
  
With that, he vamped out.  
  
Cordelia ran as fast as she could, but with the stilettos heels she was wearing it was difficult, every fluctuation in the uneven pavement upset her balance as she ran. She kept telling herself not to turn round, that she could be quicker if she didn't, but the thought of not knowing exactly where Angelus was overpowered that thought and she repeatedly checked where he was. Every time she glanced behind her she could see he was laughing - he wasn't trying too hard to catch her. Probably because she knew Angelus enough that it would be 'too easy' if he gave full chase. She thanked the lord for the vampire's ego as she raced towards The Bronze. Soon, the club was in sight and she used the last bit of energy she had left to spurt herself on but as she came within 200 yards of the place, her heel caught in the cracks between the pavement slabs and she went flying forward onto the concrete. She struggled to pull herself up but she was too late - this was just the moment Angel had been waiting for to pounce. Before she had a chance to push herself upright with her arms, he was upon her, his fangs poised above her neck. Cordelia screwed her eyes shut, shaking uncontrollably with fear. She felt the pressure against her neck and the skin break as Angelus sank his fangs into her vein. Gasping in pain she felt immobilised as the vampire fed on her. She felt consciousness start to slip away from her as the pain got more hazy. Her vision and hearing became dark and fuzzy as the life was slowly sucked out of her. In the distance she heard a voice.  
  
"Get away from her."  
  
But Cordelia drifted further and further away from the voices she could hear until she was immersed in darkness.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED. 


End file.
